A little ode to my first grandchild, Elliot

You were born on Friday and we have to tell you this,
It really did make our day as we gave you a first kiss
To be your Pop and Nanna is amazing; we're excited 
You rank in our affections now ahead of Man United!

You came into the world, announced your presence good and loud
Your mummy brought you safely and she's made us very proud
Your eyes are bright and all the bits you should have are in place
With tiny hands and fingers and a handsome little face.

I rest my (suit)case

A word about ruthless exploitation from an outraged airline customer.
In October I sail from Barcelona to New Orleans.
This means I have to fly one way to Barcelona from Manchester.
The luggage allowance is limited to 20kg and inadequate for a 26-day trip with formal dress a necessity.
So I enquired about the cost of another an additional 12kg.
The answer was £120.
This seemed disproportionate, since I can book a seat on the flight for £69 so I enquired if I could legitimately book a second seat.
Delighted to take my money, a customer service representative at Monarch Airlines advised me to put a dot after my surname, so it could go undetected as a second booking.
"Great", I thought, "I'll book another seat and check-in another case."
Oh no I can't - the luggage allowance is associated with the individual and not the seat.
In days gone by, it was cutpurses, footpads and mountebanks who asked you to, "Stand and deliver". I rest my case.